Random

• I guess I should start out by saying that in college my roomate glo would bring this coffee mix thing from singapore.. that used to be really really sweet and we didn't like it at first but we became addicted to it later.. so since we have been out of college 2 years.. i have not had that coffee.. today I get this sudden urge to have some.. so i go to the break room where we have coffee.. mix in a bunch of creamer and a bunch of sugar.. the result... not the coffee we used to drink.. i don't think it can ever be that good... hahahah
• then as i sat here drinking my really sweet coffee and eating it with just plain bread... hahaha.. it made me think about my childhood.. i grew up in bolivia... so we used to have tea time... everyday.. and my maid( everyone had one) would make me coffee and bread... or she would bake something.. and make hot chocolate... that made me so happy... hahaha.. just sitting here eating my bread and coffee... so funny how a million thoughts can run through your head with just a taste, or just a smell of something...
• i'm so glad it's wednesday.. the middle of the week... almost the end... tonight i get to have dinner with some old college roomates.. i love our dinners.. they're always so fun.. i love how i'm completely satisfied in the thought that.. if i don't make any more friends for the rest of my life.. having them is more than enough... they mean so much to me.. and without them.. i don't think i would be who i am today..
• yesterday was our scrapbooking day... it's so sad.. that our tuesday nights always seem to pass by soo quickly... why???? the 2-3 hours we have.. don't even seem that long... it's so good for us... we relieve stress through it.. and it gives a chance to be more creative.. i'm so glad glo got me into this.. but i think... scrapbooking and us.. we were meant to be.. hahaha.. that sounds soo geeky.. but i don't really care what others think... i LOVE IT!!
• i have a month left of work... and then i'm free.. off to start my new career and life.. wow.. pretty scary... i haven't thought about it much... right out of college i started working here.. have learned many new things... and have finally realized that this is not for me.. it was a good journey... but i'm not to see it end.. because i know.. that when i become a teacher.. it will be so much more satisfying that this... people are meant to do certain things... god has made them to become certain people... and i think eventually... you end up doing just that... god is good..
• i'm excited today.. i'm going to go to michaels for lunch... cause they have paper on sale.. yay!!!! that makes me happy.. see glo used to work near me.. and we used to go together... i guess i'm going to have to go alone.. and then call her at the store... hahaha...

Confusion

It's been about 2 years since I have graduated from college. Looking back, so many things have changed and I have grown up some more. I can't believe that later this year I will be turning 25. I'm almost 25, and as I sit here and think what have I accomplished in my life, nothing seems to stand out. I have not found my love and my passion for life. What am I so scared about? What is holding me back? What do I want? What is it that God has planned in my life?

I don't think I have lived to the fullest each day. So now being stuck at a job that I can't see myself in for the rest of my life. A million thoughts come rushing to my head. I don't know how to sort them out and I don't know where to start. I guess my resignation is a good start. I know not every career is perfect, there are hard times and rough patches along the way. But I want to be able to do something that will make me feel like i'm needed and something that will make me happy. I am not happy sitting here, in my cubicle doing the same thing over and over and over again. I am made for so much more, I have so much I want to do. As I apply to graduate school and begin my path to become a teacher. I am really scared but at the same time looking forward to teaching. I think that it's always been in the back of my head, but I have never thought that I had it in me to do it. After two years of working, I have realized that Life isn't about the money you make. I could make all the money in the world and still not be satisfied with what I do. I want to enjoy what I do for the sake of doing it, not for the money I make. So going beyond the money, I want to be happy with what I do.

As much as I hate to admit it, I guess I have been forced to grow up. Life was so much more simple when I was in college, just thinking about what I had to do for the day. Now our conversations revolve around finances, and what our lives hold for us. We have such intense, serisous conversations about life, haha not that we didn't in college, but it's so different now. I guess life never really has any conclusions or exact ways of living it. You just have to deal with it as it comes along one step at a time. So as I let go and take a step toward my next career, I hope I can make it and that I have it in me to live my life to the fullest. I'm only 25, there will be plently of chances. Plenty of opportunities and plenty of surprises. God is good.