Confusion

It's been about 2 years since I have graduated from college. Looking back, so many things have changed and I have grown up some more. I can't believe that later this year I will be turning 25. I'm almost 25, and as I sit here and think what have I accomplished in my life, nothing seems to stand out. I have not found my love and my passion for life. What am I so scared about? What is holding me back? What do I want? What is it that God has planned in my life?

I don't think I have lived to the fullest each day. So now being stuck at a job that I can't see myself in for the rest of my life. A million thoughts come rushing to my head. I don't know how to sort them out and I don't know where to start. I guess my resignation is a good start. I know not every career is perfect, there are hard times and rough patches along the way. But I want to be able to do something that will make me feel like i'm needed and something that will make me happy. I am not happy sitting here, in my cubicle doing the same thing over and over and over again. I am made for so much more, I have so much I want to do. As I apply to graduate school and begin my path to become a teacher. I am really scared but at the same time looking forward to teaching. I think that it's always been in the back of my head, but I have never thought that I had it in me to do it. After two years of working, I have realized that Life isn't about the money you make. I could make all the money in the world and still not be satisfied with what I do. I want to enjoy what I do for the sake of doing it, not for the money I make. So going beyond the money, I want to be happy with what I do.

As much as I hate to admit it, I guess I have been forced to grow up. Life was so much more simple when I was in college, just thinking about what I had to do for the day. Now our conversations revolve around finances, and what our lives hold for us. We have such intense, serisous conversations about life, haha not that we didn't in college, but it's so different now. I guess life never really has any conclusions or exact ways of living it. You just have to deal with it as it comes along one step at a time. So as I let go and take a step toward my next career, I hope I can make it and that I have it in me to live my life to the fullest. I'm only 25, there will be plently of chances. Plenty of opportunities and plenty of surprises. God is good.