state of being

My last day of work was officially the 31st of July... I have been very busy after that running our vbs camp for the kids at our church... this is my first week that i feel like i'm really resting...

the feeling of not going to work... for a little bit at least.. makes me really happy.. i love the fact that that i can wake up whenever i want to.. and sleep whenever i want to.. hahaha.. i am no longer tied down to something... so that's good... i like just taking time off from the day to do the small things in life and really appreciate them... i think too many times we get way too caught up with our lives.. and forget to really live... forget to appreciate the simple things.. and forget about the most important things...

this week... i have just spent time running errands.. and just not doing much... i'm in riverside for the rest of the week because my sister is going to get her license... i hope she passes.. so i'm here to practice with her and to help her.... no one in her house is home... i like being home alone sometimes.. i love the peace and quiet.. and just having no one around is a good change from always having a full house...

this short vacation i have.. i want to do many things...my list of things to do:

-watch movies (lots of them)
-read books (lots of them)
-do something crazy that i would consider doing (still thinking of this one)
- travel
- meet up with friends that i haven't been able to meet

wow.. those all seem so boring.. hahaha.. what can i say?.. i'm a boring person.. haha... i just want to rest.. and relax.. i know two years of work doesn't seem like a lot.. but i think it was just too much for me... i've learned a lot from me first job.. and now i'm going into a whole different career... wow.. scary.. but really exciting at the same time... my life will be completely different a year from now on.. and that could be a very good thing... or not so very good... hahaha.. but knowing me.. it will probably be a good thing...

so many changes.. so many different emotions.. at times.. i feel like my l ife is flying by at a million miles per hour... i really do need to take time and stop and look.. and appreciate the simple things in life... my brother is coming back from Russia this saturday... i miss him and cannot wait to see him.... wow.. it's been a month already.. since he has left...

i want to be more creative.. more appreciative.. more caring.. more thoughtful.. i think too many times i just let things pass.. without any emotion or without any feeling... i'm ready.. ready to change.. ready for a new scene.. ready for something to be totally and completely different in my life...

by the way.. i got a job at usc... i will be starting soon.. i'm a trojan.. because of the job... now i will be applying to go to school at usc... june of next year... that makes me happy...

god is truly amazing and has shown me so much during this month... patience... and love... things i often times lack... things i often times just want to pass over really quickly... vbs with the kids was such a blessing... i love seeing the kids be changed.. and be led in a different direction.. i love the fact that they show love to each other and care for each other... they were so incredibly cute... the things they do... crack me up... seeing god working in their lives truly encourages me to be a better teacher and to love them more...

wow.. what a long entry... it's weird that now... in my mid 20's.. hahaha.. that is so weird to say... i'm going through this.. at times i feel like i have no direction in life.. or as if.. .things aren't working out like they're supposed to... but every time... god likes to remind me that he is in control.. and that he has mapped out and planned out every step of my life.. and in that i can take courage and comfort.. in that i can be ok.. and let him lead me...